My superior? A cheapskate.
On the recent activities,
he does knows
and explains well
to others colleagues
about those bargaining customers
demanding the lowest price.

He too would hate
those customers
of their ridiculous demands.

But it was that same day,
before work finished,
he texted me,
requesting to do him
another goal of his.

He's even more cheapskate
than those customers.

He is an intelligent person,
but uses only to benefit himself.

One working day,
he approaches me
with the careful speech he chose
I could immediately sense that
uneasiness of him stood beside me.
Thirsty intention of drilling information from me,
for what he wants to hear, and slowly bringing his subject
into the conversation about his personal work
to have me do
for free.

He chooses speech well,
whenever he approaches me.
None of the sentences
he uses has the word
"money"
"cost"
"design"
"charge"
"pay"
except "treat",
a distant hope of promise,
I wasn't looking forward to any,
most are empty promises.

He would complains customers
want their way and likely breaking rules,
then make complaints if the company does not
allow them do what they please because they pay,
because they are customers.

He is not exception too.
He knew the company policy,
yet he's breaking it,
worse, I was dragged into
being his accomplice.

For the whole week,
he carefully monitored me to
do his personal work
during the office hour,
while doing his work hiding in a cloak.

24th October, Wednesday
He's coming back to me.
Tuesday between 6.00 to 6.30pm,
he texted me to help him
removing the background of 6 photos.

I wanted to avoid that request,
to me,
he could actually do it well by himself,
by applying better phone shots
without the help others
to remove the not so nice background
for him.

It may sound easy but
It's a time consuming work
yet I couldn't find a sentence
to reject him politely and he could accept it

I did have giving him my opinions about
the photos, and 3 close up shots with added logo
are just enough for posting
Above all, he insisted to have 6 photos...
which I sighed...

He did said "anytime can be done when you're free."
Well... would he use his free time on this work of others, for free?
I clearly prefer to sit on watching animes, catching up mangas,
playing games, exercise, cooking, and sketching for my own.

However 5.57pm in the evening,
he texted me,
"u help me edit my photo first OK,"
followed by a emoticon smile.

Help, is a neutral word.
It has a time value but be or not be have athe cost of money
not figure
unless one's willingly sacrifice time
to put it that way.

There was this one superior who recently encountered in the center of complaint :
He forgot to inform the buffet kitchen of 20 booked guests will be on the weekend which
causing a shortage of food servings in the restaurant.

He himself admitted that matter but only a small part of his fault. Then furiously stand firm that he shouldn't be treated for being into center of the problem. Instead, He pointed that the Head Chef should be the main center of this.

He complained that as a Head Chef of the buffet kitchen, not 120 pax but only a 20 pax guests group would not be a problem to prepare.

Furthermore, he vented the rest of the team in the message group did not help him (who forgets) to pass down the updates even though they knew. He claimed they turned a blind eye and berated him for forgetting to inform the buffet kitchen of coming guests.

Others office colleagues may stand with him, but I don't. He's not reflecting the whole cycle of the problem. Fresh goods and ingredients is ordered according to how many estimated walk-in and booked customers would turn up, while too much, fresh goods will rot and goes to waste, and expenses will still blame on the Head Chef for unnecessary order.

It's not that easy to estimate how many could eat than calculating money figure

The unfortunate of First Time (2018)

24 October 2018, Wednesday

4.49pm,
Stuck lift.

Reason caused :
reckless behaviour of a colleague..

No matter how careful I was,
being in a lift with mischievous colleague,
with his reckless action,
I ended up stucking in the lift
for the first time.

I was taking a short break to get bun downstairs,
one of my colleagues said he wanted some snack
and eventually he came along.

Right after we entered the lift,
he was at it again.
Being overweight size,
using his legs to stomp-shack
the lift.

In that very moment,
the lift halted,
followed by an object
was heard falling down
and hit above the lift.

Next thing was,
silent and wonder.
 And, that he realized the situation.

I was calm,
and focused.
I wasn't panic,
it's like switching to
a survival mode.

I did watched about articles
that shows how you should do
when stuck in a falling lift situation.
Which is by lying down,
and saves your energy
to face any difficulties
when critical time meets.

I was glad that we didn't
dragged another colleague
with us, or she did be crying.

I was so conscious of our whereabouts.
It's unfortunate that we stuck between
5th and 6th floor without a sight of
getaway.

With the help of other colleagues
from 5th floor and the management technicians,
we were able to get out 30 minutes after.

The office colleagues?
They just laughed at us,
and picturing us.

Right after I got out,
I felt mad to want to hit him in the face.
I couldn't do it in the lift because
unknown of how seriously danger we were in.
I would have beaten him up if I don't know him.

After lift stuck,
everyone back to their post,
and I returned to my seat.
My heart was beating irregularly,
I started feeling exhausting,
and my face was as hot as heating iron.

That feeling is like
a deathmatch between a tiger and a cat.
I was so concentrated during the stuck lift,
even though I appeared calm.

Also, I missed the time to buy my snack..
the shop closed after 5.30pm

25th October 2018, Thursday

For the past three days,
I could hear birds tweeting
in the very late evening
after 9.30pm.

Today,
3.28pm,
I hear cricket buzzing,,
it changes the atmosphere
of my room into
a shelter deep in the forest.

Responsibility is important, but teamwork is more than important.

Everyone has their assigned tasks
and responsibilities,
many may shoulder more,
many couldn't care more than they have.
and many who don't give a damn.
Not all would receive the burden with open arms
and free of charge.


When nobody is helping you out
for your mistakes.
Still, you are on your own responsibility
of the consequences in the end.

Don't expect others would come to you,
don't expect others would support you.

It's natural that you will vent about
over trivial mistakes which in another way
to get the attention of others
for the judgement that they are still right.
or just letting self out.

Some not,
knowing nothing would sort out,
they prefer not to vent at all.

Just

Stop ordering around,
Don't show your mighty position,
involve in teamwork instead.

We aren't mechanical nuts.
we all have 5 senses,
with multiple brains to get
the network cycling.

Plug off your ear-set,
and hear the surrounding,
you will hear the sub-hints
of their cries whom they
wanted to turnover a positive path.

If you have the time and heart,
help them unconditionally.

Little Woman on the bridge

17th October 2018, Tuesday

I passed by the bridge,

I saw the little woman today.

As usual, she was holding a little baby,

taking a bite of chip cracker,

with another small girl beside her.

I walked passed,

I stood for while,

thinking.

I returned to the mall,

bought a rice pack, 2 milk packet

and a 1.5ml water.

I wrote the rice pack "halal",

it has 6 meatballs, fried egg and long beans

from a Malay eatery, food court. RM14.50

RM7.70 for the milk packs and water from Mynews.com.

I placed them for the little woman,

hope those fill up their stomach.

16th October 2018, Tuesday - Today's Dream

16th October 2018, Tuesday

Today's Dream

Huang Shou Zhi, Lim Chin Yee, Huang Wen Ting.
I remembered them, they are my ex-classmates
from primary and secondary school.

I don't know why.

I was so sure to be in my old house,
yet it's attached inside my school compound.
I visited my classmates' rooms.

Their faces,
they were not disturbed of my presence.
One has two younger siblings in the room,
but one by one collapsed on the bed,
unmoved.

I went to wake them up,
the elder said something,
and then collapse on own bed,
they didn't wake up.

I walked to the wall near the exit.
there was a stair hang up half way off the floor.
The stair looked fragile and broken,
how did they reach the higher floor
in that condition?

A child threw something across my face,
that object hit the mid-hang stair,
and landed on one of the steps.
He then ran off.

I returned to my room, everything was greyish
except the yellowish white light from desk lamps.
My other classmate, too
said something, tired...? or nothing in response?
and collapsed soon after.

One by one..
lying motionless.
I seeing them "passed away".
When will my turn.. ?

Cap in Plastic Bag

I never like celebrating birthday.
Don't ask why,
I hate the word "why" that comes from others.
because they insist to get answers from me
to make themselves contented,
for themselves.

I have no expectation.
experience and maturity all comes from
how much you learn
not how many years passed.

I have a colleague celebrating his birthday,
my mood swing today.
unexceptionally, I want to sit quietly doing my work.

I felt unresistant to provoke today,
I felt like hitting people,
I felt like screaming out loud.

The day before,
11 October, Thursday that afternoon,
One of the colleagues approached me,
asking whether to share the potion
to buy the birthday boy a present
for the following day.

I agreed.
Another request followed,
is to have me to buy the present.
A cap for RM60 budget divided by 3.

They said they were busy after work,
had me to handle the shopping present
as I would usually pass by the mall
on my way to train station.



Just as I reach the mall,
I went and survey a few brand outlets
as discussed before just in case plan A
doesn't work out.

(at first this was their ideal cap for present but it cost RM75-85.00)

even though they said their budget is RM60

I picked and checked the price,
and moving on to next and the next.
The branded seemed to be selling a ridiculous price
as high as RM200+ per cap.

The cheapest I could find is RM65 and RM42.

(Air Jordan was on sale for RM 70, while a grey cost RM20 higher than these three)

I took pictures and sent to my colleague over and over.
The texting began at 7.48pm and ended 9.17pm

I did had an eye on the RM42 from the beginning,
and would have guessed they would pick that for the budget.
I might do the same except
the quality which isn't my favourite choice
and were unsure the final decision from them.

What makes them to decide to buy a cap,
one must have calculated to faster solution,
for so they don't get their hands busy and worry
and it happened to me wearing one everyday,
I am their solution to deal with the present
that they don't give a damn time for it.

I was feeling upset at the time
of the unfairness of having me,
just me to find the present
for just
a word they utter "busy" and "text me, don't text him,"
and they can push the responsibility
and use my time,
rather than sharing the time
to buy together.
But...I agreed that second request..

I went short tempered,
all the sudden felling to senseless,
started complaining,
and feeling hate.
of myself,
not loving myself.

After I bought the cap in plastic bag,
and about to shove inside my bag,
I made that gentle approach,
rearranging a wider space
for it to rest,
the plastic bag is the only thing
to replace a present box
it can be easily ragged
if I went careless.

It's a present for the colleague,
I have to take good care of it,
I listened to myself as I walked on.

I had been used.
At the same time,
they made me fit for buying the present.

/one thing for sure is birthday colleague has similar
height and head size as I am,
that certainly not from their list,
it was from my consciousness.

( An only adult size, too big to fit for smaller head)

I would clearly know
whether the cap fits him
when I try on.

I really like the RM65
however it didn't fit in me
for its size, and so would he.

After depression,
cap has became inseparable.
It has became a part of me.



On the present day,
I did my part yesterday and wanted to pass on present,
one insisted I handling the present to the birthday colleague.
It did sounded an order to on of them,
to me,
I expressed in great disagreement,
if they want to share the potion of the present,
the 3 of us should work as team,
not order others around,
and it's not being sincere.

When he tried to reason me,
my last word was "Nonsense!"

And for the rest of the day,
I felt irritable of voices,
I couldn't stop hearing
that my head felt almost bursting,
I plugged in ear-set,
listening to songs that I first to hear,
those rhythm touches my inner,
sad voice of loneliness,
comforts me.

During the birthday celebration,
I was the camera and video in position,
I couldn't do more than that.

In the end,
my superior had no word
for the birthday colleague,
until my other colleague
represented our team
though unwillingly.

She too, may have felt
some unfairness
towards his character.


It may be a big scene birthday celebration
for one colleague unexceptionally the company
celebrates birthdays every end of the month.

He has presents , cake and sushis on the table,
that makes everyone envy,
I don't.

I will be turning 30
on the 1st day of Chinese New Year
in 2019.

It was said that turning 30 years old
marks the end of youth,
and the begin of adulthood.
I hate those twisted words.

Gachapon lost

4th October 2018, Thursday

I lost my Gachapon doll
during a conversation with a young lady
path between Fahrenheit and Pavilion.

I enjoy talking with her,
I didn't get her name
She's a part timer from Samsung,
with a Graphic Design course.

We parted when shower rains.

The doll was You Watanabe.
It cost me RM15...
I only knew the next day morning.

12th October 2018, Friday - Today's Dream

12th October 2018, Friday

Today's Dream

I was in my rental condominium, standing at the lift.

The lift door opened, crowds rush out, and others pushing in.

I stood overlooking the scene,

they are aunties and elders,

their mouth were always open and close,

I hear no voice or I didn't pay attention to.

Youngsters stood nearby side,

just like me, unmoved.

They seemed unwilling to engage

in the busy-looking people as well.

We waited until the lift went empty to enter.

These youngsters,

they were newbies with luggage in both hands,

pressing the button floor 18,

where I stayed.

I don't know why,
floor 18 is a specialty of why this condominium
is full of lively youngsters.

They were not only came for the magnificent view,
but the stay, the food and souvenirs
because,
18th floor has an unlimited boundary of sea and beach.

It's a stiff path down a valley with medium blocks of pillars.
Yes, we set foot on those pillars to climb down the valley.
and "Owh~" of the heavenly scenery.
It's beautiful..

The best thing is, it's not populated.
No crowds, we gave spaces and privacy to each other.
I walk along the beach, sand touching the foot,
leaving footprints behind ashore.

I went further into a long hut.
there I entered a seeming empty, unoccupied section.
There was a tree trunk stairs on the left corner.
glowing light was seen.

I climbed up the seemingly difficult stair
to look for the lights.
It was a computer screen light that's filling up the unattached room.
There's no one... wait.. there's a shadow? sitting where the computer at..?
I asked, "Are you alone? Sorry for intrusion.."
something like that, I think.

I climbed back downstairs and continued walking across the hut.
Passing a section full of eateries on both side along the path,
and it's getting narrow and narrower.
Throng of youngsters cross path each other.

I continued walk and walk and walk,
the overview is wooden and mysterious atmosphere deep inside the hut
only small cracks of rooftop with little sun lights showing the way.
Souvenir gifts dangling on, they weren't shiny,
more like a traditional leaf stone handicraft necklace.

Just as I made a left turn,
I met familiar body size,
Louise? and he's with his another buddy.
They saw me too.
I walked towards him.

-------- ------- -------
Waking up 7.57am...

2nd October 2018, Tuesday

2nd October 2018, Tuesday

I drank alot water, and bloated with the Japanese food =w=..
very full.

Today's Dream

It's noon day, as I can feel the heat is under my head and all the sudden storms pours the peaceful city. I brought something along the way to catch my train as I'm really damn late to work. One thing I forgot is spoon.

Therefore, I went in an old convenient store near the train station to buy a spoon. I went to the cashier counter, an old lady and elder man standing. I asked whether they have spoon in store. Instead giving me spoon, the old man puts in a few bags of vacuumed plastic herbs and trying to charge me those...

In frustration, I complained at them for trying to fool me in paying them the herbs and wasting my time as I'm already 3 hours late. I stormed out the store, thinking I should return to my condo to get my own spoon.

However the rain was getting heavy and heavier I have to turn back to train station, eh what...? I'm outside the train station already... wasn't I going back to my condo ??

I tagged my access card, which escalator is it ?? No wait, which entry should I tag my access card ??

Platformss, the names of stations sre unfamiliar. The two names I know is Pasar Seni and Masjid Jamek. Was it??

There's platforms for MRT

Great experience in the NEW Sushi Zanmai!

1st October 2018, Monday

I have the urge to savour sashimi, and decided to visit a Japanese restaurant in Avenue K, K.L.

Sushi Zanmai is one of my favourite place. It has been a long while since the last time I dine-in at Japanese restaurant and today it's a complete different level to my surprise of their technology upgrade.

I was led to a seat, a A5 stand is right on top of a stack of menu, written step-by-step to order online using QR Scan app. I was given a piece of QR code to scan. Wait, let me install the app first...

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT ,WAIT A SECOND !
My nickname was written at the bottom of the line!!
How did they detect my name ???!
Does they have a special device that detect any incoming guests' handphone ??
I'm not even online !
What kind of technology is this?
It's so cool ~

Alright, somehow I did figure how to place order. That code directs me to a e-menu order site with my exact seat number stated in the page. I begin my order, yet still thinking... why order online where those hardcopy menus is in front of me ??

This is how it looks like in your order cart. It even display how much in total.

With my order check-out, the serving service is ridiculously FAST, I'm overwhelmed with surprise and its serving time. It's just within 4 minutes, I don't even get the chance to finish viewing selections in the e-menu. It does feel like I'm in the future and alive. XD

Salmon sashimi (M) - 5 pieces

From left Awabi, Tako and Ika sushi

THat makes me wonder does this technology applies throughout the restaurants in urban cities of JAPAN?

When the Chicken Katsu Curry arrives, is another BOOM to me!
I order large, and they MEAN it XD

And the salmon sashimi slices is fresh and as thick as a manga book.
I'm very satisfied with their generous potions and worth of pay ~
=w= I'm super full.