Cross-Country 2011

Morning 8.56am on my arrival to Damai bus stop.

There goes the juniors kids of Tshung Tsin, attending their ( 29th Jan ) Cross-Country 2011.

I should have stopped by to take some shots before Esso gas station. I managed to take this photo in time, these red shirt juniors are the very last student in the Cross-Country event.

Heh.. good old days.. For five years I challenged myself to finish to goal. Although I don't get 1st, 2nd or 3rd price, at least I get in Top 20. It's was a hard run back then. When I started the run, I never stop and that's the rule I made for myself.

Nostalgic...? I remember my very first KK adventure walk in 2004 from STTSS to Karamunsing

Changing Mind? Middle ? or Keep the Change?

Does money really can help a person for exchanging a better life? If no? Go live in the island. (I wish so...) If yes? Will I become selfish, workaholic and demanding? I wish I could get some standard salary, honestly...I want to be the financial supporter in the house, but... is that what mom really wants...?

Can I repay my cousins, relatives' kindness and good deeds through money? I'm not doing business to pay off with money, dammit. By that early time I really think money can work off everything...

Money really is evil, but without that,we hardly survive nowdays if we don't choose money. Money can change a person's behaviour and personality. The longer you grasp for it, the faster you changed.

I always thought doing lots of volunteering work freshen me, makes me happy, fill up bit of my life. Yea.. it really was, and it really are now. It's what I willingly to do what I can. However, behind the scenes, it's abit unfair for parents who working hard to secure the family daily needs, cover up all the bills, repairments and children's demands. Don't know whether I should start selecting what's can be volunteer and what's not... ? Doesn't that makes me feel greedy...?

You can't really get everything for free (you can if you think it's free XD), that's why "repay" word exists. Never forget their kindness.

3rd Week Practical

Sometimes can be too relax, sometimes can be working overtime till midnight.

Anyhow, I'm not the person who likes to ask how much they will pay, unless they say to me or I wait until end of the month to see what happens. My style for now, I don't know the future.

Um.. it's my 3rd week. For other should be 2nd week, I take in earlier a week due to some applying leave during my Industrial Training period.

Not every company provides training the way you want to, you just have to work off yourself. Self-explore and self-learning is something you 100% need during work, for software-skill enhancement, and think creative.

Boss doesn't teach you how to do, they only order you to give them the outputs, (we think they will provide us training and they think we, applicants are skillful in all ways), so.. it's kind like misunderstanding gap here. Okay, the rest is all by yourself, your skill, and your creativity, efficient, patience and hardworking. Be nice with the senior staff is also a chance to learn from them. Mostly, they will be the one who teach you  and leads you in the working environment.

I'm in the situation stated above, sometimes I really get lazy to be self-learning, and I have to change that ill for being a standard staff, (a long way till I can address myself as professional).

Just before being a standard staff, you also must own some basic needs according to what working fields you are in. For me, a multimedia student's working in "multi" studio, my basic needs are :

1. a laptop (more processors, i3 / quad / i5, atleast 4GB RAM)

2. Headset (For editing or entertainment purpose)

3. Pendrive / External hard disk

4. Broadband (Searching used, entertainment as well. Some company doesn't provide internet line)

5. Camera

Yea, depends what place you work,  some don't provide better facilities will have to afford to own these, or think about the solutions for your better working environment, cut short time to work on tasks. I have two extra needs but I found the only best solutions to get my working environment much convenient.

Cut down daily expenses? Bring yourself lunch or skip your lunch (you don't really need much calories to sit in the office all day). Transport? Take buses (I take 2 rounds to office) Want to cut down some transport fees? That's easy. Use GoogleMap, find shortcuts and WALK YOURSELF HOME. That's me, alright. Got exercise, save cost, and even faster than taking buses home when traffic jam. Yeah, I'm crazy, poor citizen, so what?

In this picture, this neighbour is feeding the pigeons with rice. He spreads the rice on the roof, and wait. Sometimes there's alot of pigeons, I guess it's because of the weather turning bad this evening .

Apparently, not much people can still care about nature, but he does, maybe his children love them, has made him a one good example of nature lover, saving a bit nature for his children's future.

Not all smoker is bad, like not all animals are cruel.

13-1-2011

我正安慰自己。。。

你所做出的决定，我没有地说我后不后悔，

我只是坦白地说出来而已，

我没有逃避过这份感情，

我一直在等你，

等你给我那一晚对我缺心的真正来龙去脉，

好让我彻底死心，

可你却往往选择逃避。

两个星期。。。

两个星期，我眼睛真得好痛，好累

今日，你选择彻底遗弃我，

是因为我写的那番话令你反感，

而消除我的户口是唯一让你丢弃你的烦恼，让你遗忘过去，让我死心的方法？

这一次我真的该说 ：“你错了。。。”

你只会让我更心疼得追求你的答复，

拉长我的罪行日。。。

如果这方法能够让你舒服话，那就去除我第二个户口吧。免得又无意看我写什么的。。。

现在的我，比死还更难受。。。

还是历史重回，

第一次已够了，

好不容易刚刚放下了心情，

反还来第二次。

爱情就像一场游戏，

有规矩，有处罚，有罪行，有死刑。

我

接受

这个漫长的罪行

 

我在这里对你说：“谢谢，对不起”

谢谢你在这短短相处的日子里，

每夜来通电话，即使是电话打得没钱，也用减用的方法保持联系

分享你的经历，技力，智慧

担忧 presentation,video 做不完，深夜都得踏上门来。

与你度过一段时间的苦与乐。

对不起，我令你带来不少的烦恼。

花费你每晚的电话钱，

浪费你们俩的时间，

教会里的误会，

让你非常不满我所有的所说的，所做的。

我一直都有这小小的要求，

我一直都希望能达成，

可到这地步，

已是当作废了，

对你来说已没有任何意义了，

也算了。。。

我接受。。。我接受。。。。。。

3rd ~ 7th January

My first trip in 2011.

Heh, not much expected in shopping and buying, most of times "Hide and Seek" and rest in food stores, eat and drink, even I don't want to.

What I really missed isn't really about shopping malls now, it's about relationships between my family members at most. Deal in alot of arguments, well maybe I'm on my grown up adult age of "Well to Do Manner/ Inexperience". I fight to :

1. Clean my innocent. (Get scold countless times for her wrongdoings, I still shut my mouth)

2. Understand what they don't understand me. (Seems to be a thick wall between us)

3. realize my ways of talking. (I did be very rude at close family when I'm mad)

4. Observe the levels they use to treat me. (More like a kindergarten kid level)

5. Who's the one being idiocy. (None, but alot misunderstandings)

-- Continue--

Yea, I think alot more than thinking how my future plans. Job is only an earning-living plan, but the only thoughts keep me alive are my close persons and family members. Why not, spend more time knowing them while they still alive?

I was a coward and stubborn person, who blind by love, losing trust & support and attempt to suicide many times. Still, I thank them for strengthening my mentality. I'm glad I didn't took the road. Flash backs a lot, I actually owe a lot of people's good deeds, therefore it's not the time to end life. Don't you think it's fair?

heh... nostalgic, but I wasn't able to watch the performance, by that time I already returned KK while show is up.

Don't judge my dressing, don't judge my gender, but judge my character. I'm not the kind you think of me as  normal , I'm not the kind you can stick very close with (is a warning), I just want to be me. When I response you in confusion answer is a sign. Please watch your back.

It's a good time, I can meet my brother who's working in KL. I can see he has little pressure and things he wants to share, but he chose to hide and forget.

My last paper sits in KL

From the look of people seem going class and exam as usual, however, I'm the one that's different from the look of them.

Mom and I stopped at Sultan Ismail Station (Star LRT), asking for direction, and met two Muslim students who were heading to Cosmopoint KL and sat the same paper with me.

Led by them to the Admin service and staff office. Miss Infran called Puan Hasnah who in-charge of my small case and made an arrangement for me to sit for the exam later. She actually thought I was a transferred student.

Going nearby Raja Laut Food Court just below EON Bank, ate Fried Guey Teow RM4, while mom ate mixed RM5, it's cheap there. So after that I went back 1.35pm to study.

Block A 1st Floor, Room 1 (A 1-01), I was the first one sitting down the hallway followed by other guys doing revision. Exam door is opened, I showed my note access to officially sit the exam. I'm very nervous and uncomfortable. Different place, different atmosphere, all new faces, the only two things are same is Business Mathematics paper and exam time, everything is different, include myself. Is it a good thing? I guess so, I finally know how Cosmopoint KL located and looked like.

Yea, very nervous, I almost couldn't concentrated in the exam, and forgot the formulas. The students there are more discipline  during examination, and I see how lecturer relaxed watching the city view through the window. Hey, look up... CCTV, lol. I got little down because I hope to get distinction for my last paper, but I guess I couldn't make it, I did my best to get good result, but... nevermind then, exam just passed.

The last day of 2010

I joined the Chinese gang collegemates to spend the whole evening at K.Box inn Karamunsing. Meeting 5 new faces introduced by Ivy.

We sang high up and flow to release our tensions, express love, sad, joy and happiness. We booked Room 31, brought in plates of wonderful meal, and drinks of Ice Lemon, and Ice Lemon Tea.

I sucked at singing and sing unknown songs, but I learn singing with everyone. I only picked one song of the night.  分享 by Sky Wu. Yea, much more meaningful to me, and singing in a fast version too, made everyone laugh of catching it up.

We left there around 10pm ++, to our next destination, Tg.Aru Beach. It was crowded and jam even small rainy night. All of us met up and turned to the beach. There's alot youngsters and families enjoying themselves at the wide beach.

About 11.15pm, we were readying the lantern we brought. Writing down our wishes, and signatures. Wishing everyone safe, peace, healthy and sound. And then, light it up till the steam occupied the lantern and slowly float in the air high and far. That's my first time to watch. Turn in to the second and last lantern, this time we wrote personal wishes. I wrote one too. Wishing my sins to be forgiven, and thank you to all the people who show up their care, kindness and helpful hand.

 Our first Lantern up!

On the last lantern, we ran out of lighter. I thought, it might not make it, well, someone lent us a lighter and we quickly lighted it up. Everyone around cheered us up and were shouted in joy to see it flew up in the dark sky, we made it through before coming new year.

Hang out at Md Donald, Api-Api Centre for cup of hot Milo and coffee. Also jammed with cars, youngsters and families. Some of them planned to go to waterfall later on, but I declined as I need to prepare my last paper, packing up, save up money to KL. Of course, I hope to finish up the unsettle stuffs before the trip comes.

My first time back home at 2.35am in KK. Mom was waiting my return. She was watching her TV show. I on my buddy and uploaded the photos, she still awake on Facebook, I wanted to say "Heppi Neuu Yarr" to her.. but ... it would be the same like 冬至..

I stayed up until 3.50am. Mind is slowly shutting me down.