25th June 2025, Tuesday

The years I studied in STTSS,
the place I most visited was library,
the perfect place to feel peace and quiet
for introverts.

I had always loved to browse on Astronomy and subject reference books,
other than that is to prepare for exams.

I recalled staying as late as 9.30pm
just to study and then walked my way back home behind school.

When I was moved to late-grandmother's house for some short months,
I woke up 5.30am, took 6.00am bus into the bus terminal/bus stop and took another bus to Likas/Tuaran/Putatan route, stopped at ThaiSeng supermarket and walk to school.

When after school, if the weather was fine. I would always take a bus at ThaiSeng Supermarket, stopped at Tzu Yu Kindergarten school area. Then walking towards Queen Elizabeth Hospital to home to save a RM1.20 bus fare cost for tomorrow. In rare time, I walked home via the Luyang route to hospital. I only carried enough money for a canteen lunch and bus fares for the day.

A hard years back when mom and I were struggled in finance. I did my best to finish school with the best achievement I could. I once begged to stay in school dorm but.. due to my "extraordinary" issue, it would brought bad reputation to the school. It was one of my darkest years as a teenager. I could only best relied on myself to go on the dark days, Prefect Friendship League and counselling teacher to talk to.

During college years (nearest to bus terminal) and internship working at Damai when I permanently stayed in late-grandmother's house. I took bus to bus terminal and took van heading Luyang and Damai. I walked home whenever the weather is fine as I did not get any salary on my internship months.. and lucky when boss gave me a ride, I only taking a full bus trip home when it's storm raining or I waited the rain stopped.

Those dark years, my relatives from Sandakan helped my mother with food sources. My mother's friend Madam Tung helped sold the old house, brother gave up uni and started worked to support our finance back home and only then we were able to start to balance our life, and had me completed college.

I recalled after internship, I continued to take part time videoshooting/editing from the boss + full time graphic design from another boss. The bosses were struggling back then for having me while managing small family business until my mom decided to send me to Semenanjung for real permanent job.

My past 11 years life working in Semenanjung, gave me an eye opener of what's capital city life and people were like. How daily work struggle, overtime norm and increasing cost of city living, and private life are now until I quit my most promising future job at 34, I struggled to find a good company who values my profession after I have been unemployed for more than 8 months to balance my health, mental and sleep.

If I were to return hometown and look for job, I'm not sure if I'm capable to drive to work daily like the rest of Sabahans. I did be back to a controlled life by mother. The economy is only gonna slide down, with debts tight down. I must find a way to tackle this death or future difficulty choices...

Away from C Zone

I went " freelance " just not long ago, had a 3 weeks ill period in between, finally I got my regular appetite back, and energized enough to eat proper meal, and start playing game while tending some freelance work on my freelance period.

 

Today I went to TRX shopping mall for a short break away from my comfort zone. Bought a drink at SEIBU and sat at a sun shielded bench, it's where the giant oval mirror decoration at. Just perfect for a back selfie.

After done photoshooting, I took out my clipboard and resume my short manga sketch before the gloomy weather changes. Rain started to pour down about an hour later, I went inside the mall and sat at a stair floor designed wooden bench to continue my sketch.

The rain slowly dripped. It's time I walked around, that's when I found the outdoor path finally  opened, so I went to check and found out it's another way down to the opposite shoplots and found a nice Ba Ku Teh restaurant - Yuyi Ba Ku Teh, the review was positive therefore I dined for dinner, It's my first time dining Ba Ku Teh myself. 

 

 

Because it's still early and working hour, I'm the only customer sitting in a 8 seating table eating glutinously. The meat is generously sized however the pork leg flavour isn't my kind of taste, I like the vinegar taste more.

 After finishing my food, I went over to the wall of picture frame, and only knew this restaurant was visited by some famous Hong Kong actors in the pass and a woman dressed in red seemed to be the owner of this lot.

I overeat, so I went back to the mall and climb the stairs to the park.  I loved the grass lawn there, I went my way to lie down flat with open arms, it felt so great with the cooling weather, even after rain, the lawn wasn't wet but felt more airing and relaxing.

 

 

 Some group of girls laughed at my action when I lied down peacefully. They envied maybe because I wore shorts..?

 

 

I continued walk deeper into the park and found nice plants where I took a few photoshoot. 

A Number I Forever Remember

A childhood friend I used to hang out in my teen, well... athlete training, competition and street performance. She sent me a message in the evening, my first reaction was "I know this number, but why all the sudden? Should I reply?"

 

Yeah, so I did. I didn't recognize any similarity of her picture now from the one I used to see, she looks like a different person to me now. She was just trying her luck on my number, yeah good for her I took in. I know her past love life only from the scratch surface, she had a rough time in her previous relationship to a point she changed her job to avoid her ex. Knowing her cousins and friends getting married one by one, she must have been lonelier, turned her focus on animal shelter and job more.

I don't remember why the number is not in my contact list, but I know it's the only number I will never forget even after 10 years+. I learnt that she's on a business trip with her colleagues right now and stayed nearby celebrating her company listing into Bursa and would later joined by her husband.

All she remembers me now is that I live in capital city, nothing more. She seems hoping we could bump into each other for a kidding joke perhaps, but I just have this " meh " expression, nothing to be surprised anymore because I already know her engagement and where my red line is now. It would feel awkward again for her if we were really bump into, no matter how much I wanted to be with her in the past. Now she finally found the one, I wish she lives well without regrets. I will wait my next life.

 

I'm not a sweet talker, so I often end the conversation quicker without realizing, it all became quiet down very soon.