Sunday, July 19, 2015

16 July 2015, Thursday Night

遇上三位无名氏,两男一女在店路上,停我要做问卷调查。
我看了看问卷,明显是他们的宗教问答题,
我就问, “这不是一般性人会答的问题啊,我不是,怎么会做答呢?”
在他们的劝呼,我只好下笔。

总共7个选择题,我可以说我只会答第一道问题 “Are you a _________? If you are not, what's yours?” 类似意思, 当然,我写出我的宗教。

接下来的6个选择题,我能说这些问题很脑筋转动性, 要选但答案又不是答出我心中的意思,产生不服, 如果当年意志力弱的我就很容易击倒。所以A B C D / 1 2 3 4 要选哪个答案,都不在我眼上,我的答案就是 E/ 5 (自己写)。

做问答当中,他们也有不断和我聊,
“你不像这里人(KL),哪里来?”
“东马,”

“你有去过________吗?”
我坦白说 : “有,当时跟组做学院功课,我配合她待下,所以——”
聊得百分百都是关于他们宗教性的问题,要不是刻意题。
“你去了多久?”
“整整都有三个月多,”他们脸上都有露出一种满意感
后来问起我的宗教相关问题时,我个人感觉上他们在看低我,(这个问题也不是第一个同样宗教人问我)
我什么教,少去拜,不代表我不忠心,为什么总是用那种眼神看我?

有一个口声问我,“你信不信科学?”
我心想怎么他问的问题这么奇怪?只有我学校没教科学吗?还是他觉得东马没有科学这门科目?
“信啊,”

其实,这是他要说的下一句, “科学证明了 ___ ,不管什么宗教任何人都可以阅,” 我给他的反应是,否定。不管真假,都让我浮出疑问 ‘ 为什么说到他们的宗教将 ‘科学’ 性呢?还要用科学证明什么?他们的宗教存在性吗?!难道所有宗教或宗教书 '没有科学证明' 就不能相信吗? 真不科学!’

之后,他还想要一再而再度要我看5分钟的影片段。如果科学证明了的,那全世界人都 会在最名的网站看他所指的 影片,我猜疑他说的话,我就问 “Youtube 有吧?”
他没有回答我,“你自己看会不明白,我能帮你解释” ,那——明白了。

我帮他们做问卷调查时间都不短,我还是刚放工,整理厨房,到外购物抽满东西要回去做很晚的晚餐。 他们的人性真是简单。。。自私,还想抓紧机会传教。好好的一个宗教信仰,为什么要把你们的宗教变得将逼性,将生意化,有commission 吗?真是破坏你们自己宗教的名誉。

最后,我抓紧我的人权,两度拒绝,饿着肚子继续往街爬回去。

人可以有没有宗教,但不可以没有道德和理性。

Locked Inside and Out

15th July 2015, Wednesday

SOmetimes, anyone would make mistake in life... I made my mistake on my starting first day of being locked outside my room and stuck in the living room, not able to go out the unit.

I was about to go to work, when I realised I have left my keys..

I searched every thing I could use to make as tools to unlock my door room and all failed. I knew there's a housemate in the house, but I didn't want to disturb him for ask for help until I tried my best.
When the housemate finally going out the house, that's my time's out... I went out with him to look for key shop to duplicate my keys and ask for unlock door service.

The shop I went cost me RM12 just for two duplicated keys... and RM50 for unlock door service... I couldn't wait till sunset, I got to pay that mistake that I had carelessly made..

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Moving Room


Moving to a new zone, the atmosphere is sad for me, because there's no sunlight coming through my windows and the room is filled with confinements. The only thing catches my glimpse is the curtain of Doraemon from the opposite unit of hope..

Sound of Muslim prayers can be heard clearer than my old zone. I don't know how exactly sanity will drive me by staying there.



11th July 2015 (Saturday) - 4.30pm, Day 5

I carry, I sweat, I don't rely.


I got almost everything ready.


I don't look happy here, is enjoying what's gonna do next.

I have no one to depend on, life has to be that way. To live it comfort, I must make my nest as comfortable as possible. Whenever I tired, I may at least have a bed to comfy my soul to lay rest and table to my laptop. That's the most basic most people need.

12th July 2015, Sunday
Waking up almost noon.. laying on mattress, looking up the ceiling, I had a dream of her and her cousins. That attention draws me to miss my b, my destination is just a short distance.I run and run and run until I reach the hill. Watching over the sunsets, is later joined by her and her cousins.

Unwilling to get up, it ends without remembering the rest, just upset me. The warm sun, this could be my second last to see the sunlight shine through my windows.

My new room is on the 6th floor, so it's impossible to see the sunlight from the window, which means depending on the electricity the only way. 

 What's left in my current room, a mattress, laptop, and remaining clothes. I couldn't remember how many times I move my stuffs from Block A to Block B, all by my own. Definitely a solo task, but that proved my strength, patience and spirit that I can, I can make myself a pleasant stay.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

2015年7月7日, 星期二




有人曾经数年责骂过我的衣着 :
“又穿那件裤子!松松波波大大的,穿得不男不女,怎样看都是女生,你想骗别人的眼视吗?!
男生女生看到你(的装扮)会怎样?看得都讨厌、很恶心,叫我怎么跟你出街走在一起?!
像妖怪一样!
遇到熟人要我介绍‘这是我儿子’还是‘女儿’? 要我出丑吗?!
你不用出了,diu sai ngo min!”

当时青少年的我无力反抗,也无法解释自己的心态
“为什么。。。?”




十一年后的现在,我突然回想起了这个问题。眼朝看着天花板,板中的白色出现黑墨,脑袋浮现了以下:

发育时期,
男生健身、潮流发型,打扮英俊为了打造自信,寻伴;
女生化妆打扮漂亮、斯文也都为了吸引男生的注目寻伴

同样的我,跟一般人一样,打扮,造型,也是为了有机会在亿人之中能引起那位的注目,碰触我的手, “接我” 为伴。