Would be great if I have [ Refusal Skill ] activating, passively. Everyone in society always looking out for victims that benefits the people who they know how to exploit others without anything taken from them.
Even running home charity requires funds.
Refusal Skill, meaning to saying [ No ] for anyone who tries to exploit my soft spot for being kindred-spirit and what I'm capable of without anything return from them. I understood Health, Sanity, Time and Money is important to me. I understood knowledge is also what brought me to improving life and self development, but I was desperate that I neglected 3 over 4 of them in exchange for knowledge. Wearing the [Yes] Mask, that I forgot how to be the real me in my 20s journey work life. I have been through some shit from these people whether intentionally or not.
I always let my guard down for them to exploit, and because of that, depression and self guilt almost took my life away. The word that came across me this year describe about my life living away from parents, - expendable, meaning I'm replaceable once my sanity is exhausted.
CASE 1
Today, one such person came to ask whether I okay to take an assignment. He is my 2 year online language tutor. At first, I thought his message meant whether I got time to do extra homework due to my several absence for online class. Yet, he came with this question when I was feeling apologetic for being absence the evening class to make me say "Okay," without knowing what assignment he actually meant until he reveals his assignment as design work related.
Earlier this year on Chinese New Year, I took a pity on his dream to push forward his tournament despite the lack of manpower, that, I volunteered and helped him without a charge. And here, he is expecting me to agree doing for free without saying loud [Free help, yes?], mean in exchange for my time and sleep if it's not for money.
With [ Refusal Skill ], helps me to draw a line before I end up hurting myself again.
and so, I told that person I charge for a fee. He responded with "Okay bah, thank you," ending the conversation quickly. He too is a sly fox, his teaching method is effective and good however he stopped teaching us new chapters for a year, and every class sessions onward, he gave topics and had us used 6W to make conversations to each other. There's been more than 15 topics we had done now, which I see there's no end of this. I had decided to stop this online tuition with one of 2 reasons being financial tight, he began offering a cheaper fee of RM 10 per class just to keep me.
I thought my reasons were clear, but one online class, he suddenly make up things that I had not said. It upsetting to be honest. There's going to be 4 more session before ends, I'm actually looking forward to that.
CASE 2
Another person who appears to be my unit owner, landlord or house owner. There's 2-3 tenants in his unit, but I'm always the first one he approaches whether I work from home now or work from office in the past.
Times is always with the other tenants, and things always fall on me. The sense of dropping everything I'm doing to pre-myself putting his as instant priority because he's not able to present to do himself, with the most recent happen 3 times this week on working hour, it's not that I want to make things hard for him, but it's just too much.
Unlit shared toilet bulb on Thursday, I'm told to reach out management office to fix it. Me, working from home, I'm the only available to look for management office's technician the next day, and get done before weekend comes. It has to be me, I can't complain this.
House Cleaning "check up" on Tuesday 4.45pm. I highly doubt he ever ask other tenant before he comes to me. It pissed me off sometimes seeing other tenant walking in out not their fucking business while I tending somebody's fucking business.
A bedframe delivery for a vacant room, he could have the delivery's time re-arranged to the following day he comes to the unit or where the new tenants move in if he isn't free yet wanted things settled before he goes for holiday the following week... pushes the timeframe for me who have no choice to catch.
Me, being the most reliable human tool. He took it for granted. [ Sorry ] sometimes don't do the magic work to put out the fire in me or compensate my sanity.
House owner came by the following day. Again, he came knocking my door to ask for rope for measurement. It's Friday, and it's fucking working day. If he knows he's going to do measurements, he should have prepared all the necessary stationery and tool before hand. According to that, he just never prepare. My face is just pissed.
No comments:
Post a Comment