The consistency that builds motivation.
I spent a meaningful Sunday with schedule of task that I want to do. I take breaks off. I feel like wanna give up half way 4 hours from 8 hours, but thinking if I miss this chance again, I will be procrastinating again for another week.
Started out at 10.30am, I tried to learn as much as I can to catch up with my Japanese lessons that I missed. It's hard, I get it. But as this new clock app I explored, it seems to be watching over me, and have me stick to my goal and my focus as the clock ticking.
I feel good completing something, I feel better when I cross that line on the tasks I made, one by one. There may be 2 out of 8 completion, but nevertheless than I regret. I can tell myself that I'm moving forward, I'm trying to improve myself, I'm trying my best to be a better me, that I'm proud of myself.
Feeling positive is the kind of energy I want, to live my life in meaningful.
There's alot of things I want to try that I fear, and that I'm craving for something that I can make, build amazingly and be talented about it under my belt. It's hard really, without the person who would motivate you in your life, but yourself.
I always have bad communication skill, because of the way I was brought up. Low-esteem issue and being stopped for being me, no one ever supported me of what I am doing. I get that, and I became easily manipulated if any unexpected intruder were to enter my zone, it would be too late before I could free myself from harm.
I get inspired by Youtubers sharing their computer desk, their decorations and their awesome gadgets. It's so neat, professional and very stick to one theme. It takes money to get to that path, by the way. I wish to give this desk of mine a try.
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