Negativity. If You don't want to be put down, Skip this post.

I always think negative all the time just about everything,
I don't know whether it has an affection to do with
how I am brought up, being told
" No this, no that, DON'T, STOP, LISTEN "
Those words didn't shape me stronger,
but mentally weaken my desire, my dream
to do what I like to be,
to be who I want to be.

What the world needs is intelligent-s and problem-solvers,
not hard-workers, I'm none of all of them.
I am so afraid of my future.
Like everyone else, I fear insecurity in
abilities, finances and people..

Because I am weak, that's how I built up a habit
to blame everyone, and mostly myself
for bringing up a failure to this highly competitive world
who couldn't support own family or myself..

I am so hungry about honing skills and learning new skills,
Having self-doubt whether I could master this and that,
always gets in the way, putting me down of so called un-motivation..

I like keeping reference books and collecting flyers on an art table, to remind myself that I love sketching arts, own one-shot mangas and a graphic designer.

But I'm always lost in thoughts and skills,
doubting my qualifications..