A quiet, rainy Christmas Eve.. Something amiss... Shandy? maybe... not... but tonight's weather does suits me well, lots of flash back after I met this person... sweet, sour, bitter and spice... in these 3-4months...
Every night bedtime stories... every morning cherry-greetings, every fun group trips & hang outs indoors-outdoors, attend Life Group, Saturday YouthAlive, & Sunday service, doing videos & presentations, personal times
I don't want to think of anything in negative ways to the person, but I will think it on my own self. Maybe I do resemble the person's soulmate, spend time when the person needs accompany. I fall in it. I could bring smile to the person, but I couldn't bring smile to myself in the end...
I have been working hard to control my feelings, but an unexpected kick draws out the distance, and has been drawing far since 16th Nov...very depressing... each passing weeks... 7th Dec, I brought out the question. However, very in disappointment and dissatisfaction, I didn't get a clear out reason... yet again... I don't get what's the cause of everything happens around me, and all went passed me...becoming mysteries AND I HATE THAT, if I say I'm fine with all this, I'm lying, if I say I'm not hurt about this, I'm lying.
I will accept it, and continue to take it in, I blame no one. I'm just being patience and obeying what the person wants... now I can't even communicate, chat or sms normally or even look into the face... but I will continue to help if there's needs. I always regret I didn't say it earlier as I was still in confusion...
Yea, people does mistaken me that I convert to Christian because of the recent activities along with them, ANd I'm here to clarify my identify. I'm an open-minded person, maybe it's totally weird that I went to their church and hang out with church members and helping out but I will always be a Buddhist.
1 comment:
no matter what religion, go after the one that will bring a breakthrough to you and your family. Go to the one where you truly find comfort and love. Search out who gives you love that is 100%, never abondon, but promised that His love for you is forever. To whom you can rest upon? find it out =)
Post a Comment