Thursday, December 2, 2010

Worse than Dilemma

Two and a half weeks of mental break down.

Red eyes, red nose, swollen face, heat, extremely upset. I looked at the mirror,
'who the fucking weakling face is that ?!'

Me, but I have to accept that face is just showing the truth of me.

I really got no chance to avoid every single of them. Feel like there’s a best option to keep it in a minimum stage but instead just as pain as I don’t need to choose the best option at all, yea. Face it even if I don't like it.

First thing comes, second follows in a day, just upset + upset. I just fed up myself, my mind blank, got over it, but soon will return the next following days, which means will never be over, just temporary…

I tried finding some hints for what has caused the sudden impact between us... but I never get any clue in the end, and remains as a mystery again.... I don't know, is it the best not to know the truth? or is it that so bad I face after knowing the truth? no one is helping anyone unless if there is...

Thinking out all the possibilities of what might has caused it, just focus one concentration could just burst my head off, what's more if double or triple other problems? End of life? I thought of that before, but no this time. I had just found a little bit of joy for my life to be at least meaningful, and now I'm gonna throw it just because of that?

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