New Year Argument - Who Doesn't Have In The Family ?

I'm grown up.

But I no longer sees a room

for me to grow at family home.

Both mom and brother

always shove their thoughts

on me, but never take interest

to what I see and ways I think.

 

 

Because both mom and brother

shares High Self-righteous trait,

they both have own ways

to do things,

and never back down

with their own reasoning,

leading to alot of

gap of thoughts and intolerance
to each other.

 

I listen both side story,

looking for ways to open up each other,

to bridge them over and over.

 

So, bridging relationship

between mother and brother

from turning sour,

is extreme tiring.

Mother always has double edge talking habits.

Finds every person's attitude she doesn't like,

she wants them change to her liking.

Indirectly sharing related video clips,

or sharing pages.

Her every word always 50/50 hidden

with intentional blades,

yet never thinks another side of story.

(Mom worries my health & future, worries brother's attitude may leads to hardly any friends as he ages)

 

Brother sees whatever little thing that annoys him 

of his way of thinking within family,

he always stops mom or I, instantly,

Gets irritated if mom or I don't comply.

(It could be he have had been in the past, he knows what must be done and the best, most efficient method when dealing in similar situation)

He prefers solo mission,

and no one, no seconds should interfere

during his mission.

 

I can't show my leading efficiency,

I can always be his supporter role. 

When with mom,

Weakening Decision Making.

Because she always, always tries to change my plan

for her schedules.

(She always give people millions of options, never tired of bargaining, never . This trait of hers, she can be a good event chef, secretary and personal assistant, but never ever recommend in Hotel Management industry.)

When with brother,

Infantry Scout

Because brother will always be Commander

and takes the lead. He wants me to learn the way he

deal with daily situation, takes cold-heart to protect myself

and prioritize time and & goal. (Lateness, energy, focus)

There are things that brother said,

may not be true, because I'm not stupid too.
Told me air conditioner is not fully ON, only ON when after the plane departs.

To me, it wasn't true. The aircon is already FULLY ON when passengers enter the plane. 

It's temporarily switch tuning low when it's few seconds away before the plane departs, and slowly back to FULL ON, but It's his way of saying "Nevermind. Leave it be,"

Brother irritated when I adjusted his flight seat's aircon the second time

While he stills fanning himself with the Instruction Card.

(If the aircon works for him, should just politely tell me "works fine.")

When I finally alone,

I decide and execute my plan,

I have my own ways, my interactions.

My way may not be the ultimate solution,

but not overly hurting other people's feelings,

I at least absorb some for the less fortunate.

It's just suited for my personality type.

5th March 2024, Tuesday

My estranged father,

whom I never met since convocation,

live in the place where none of us know.

 

We never know how he is,

or what he does for living,

just rumour says

he had a new family.

Yet, mom still has to shoulder

of what troubles he had caused,

turning a low-profile,

anxious aged woman

forced to live very simple life

with household necessity of broken electronics.

 

Mom recently severe her relationship

with the people whom she grew up with,

she told me how she reminiscing the old times

that will no longer return.

I'm one of many people

come from

broken families.

in a norm society.

But as long as

we don't trade our souls

to the devils,

we can live to find happiness.