Procrastination

 

 Many a times, whenever I ran into something I couldn't solve just short amount of time or I struggle finding solution to get by, I start procrastinating, and this dragged me for hours. By the time I finish procrastinate, it's already pass midnight, and work has to continue in the late hours, I skipped half of my sleep to try to chase my progress.

 

Most of my activities done during procrastination is reading news, surfing Youtube or reading some Wikipedia or leave the chair for cooking. Worse, I play game.

 

Do you know that playing game can also procrastinate sometimes. Most of the time, I lack the courage to face a certain mission. For example : Diablo 4's Stronghold. It's a mission with a fearsome red mark in a map that's described as 2 levels higher than mine, monsters spawn can be deadlier. I always thought having parties would feel easier to complete or feel less scared when doing with group party.

 

 

Yesterday night, I proved that I could do alone. In order to do the two missions in that area, I must defeat the Stronghold quest in order to access the missions. This stronghold quest is unlocked when I turned around Level 23, but I hesitate to do alone, without party to be, I left it undone until I get to Level 59 that I finally decided to do this quest, and it wasn't as scared as it look when I got real gear-up and know my skill specialty very well.

 

The reason I procrastinate because I ran into a wall and that I couldn't find my way through. Left alone, I stay behind wall and take a break. And quickly the sun has set, depressing feel how much time I have wasted, doubting my creativity skill and little progress is made throughout many hours of struggle yet it didn't appear as fruitful as I wanted to be as the deadline is getting near.

I make a haste to finish as quickly as possible, thinking my mentality will calm after storm. At least there's something to see in the final day, and improvement can be made after the day which I myself never want to use this as the final resolve, because it cause disappoint the people to see crap work after days of waiting my creation.

 

 

I find it strange that there are times, I'm so enthusiasm about doing something especially after a language class, and would do my textbook exercise preparation for next class even never told to. I sat for hours with no distraction and I would find time to do it and not procrastinate. I wish that I could apply this passion in drawing class and become an illustrator artist or digital mangaka that I ever dream to be.