Two farewells in one day from my department on Friday. We had close bond working together, helping each other. We hang out whenever we have time and lunch hour. We had group photo as usual and saying our goodbyes, my face is just like normal days, normal feels. No tears.
My heart and mind couldn't process everything since work are so busy while colleagues come and go. I got numb about people leaving for better job opportunity. They gave me last pep talk and lastly, hand over task to do for the following week.
One of the colleagues, A texted me that night, that she confess about having crush on a female colleague, a conversation we had one night trip to Sunway Pyramid for a gift before out art director's farewell. We had very good time chatting together. Somewhat in my mind I thought I shouldn't get deep into why she asked about this female colleague, I gave her my thoughts as well that I had attraction for that same person.
A, I used to have hope about pursuing her but I felt that she stopped me when I cross the line. When her best friend, B joined the department, she hang out with him more, and be with him more. I could see B wants to get close relationship with A. But A, thought life is good the way it is.
To me.. knowing her for almost 2 years... she rather has chemicals for a female colleague she recently has crush on than me.. Hurts me when I think about it.. I let out tears in the shower, thinking unfair... got me mentally disturbed and heartbroken the whole Saturday.
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