15th March 2019, Friday

15th March 2019, Friday

It was 3.02am..
I couldn't sleep..
I brought a mechanical penciland a notebook
and went out in the night with a RM 1, hoping to get
a sip of carbonated drink from the vending machine
at LRT station.

RM 1 selections were all sold out.
I wandered at the bridge, looking over the empty road
with empty mind.

I stopped at the Aeon mall,
couldn't imagine the daylight was so bright with cars and shopping carts
were empty, pitch dark with only lights coming from vending machines.

I turned into residential and commercial areas inside the neighbourhood,
there were still a restaurant open for the soccer match with soccer fans
cheering and eating wee hour supper.

The night wandered in the quiet neighbourhood,
with no cars and 1 or 2 people and waking cats,
it's sure feeling spooky passing the empty seat of cars
on the road and hearing sounds from TVs.

One thing sure safe is
stand in the middle of the road
in the middle of the night
when most are sound asleep.

I returned at about 4.15am,
the security guard thought
I was ghost or trespasser,
maybe I didn't gave her eye contact..
sorry kak..
I wasn't feeling mood
letting you see my teary eyes..

I couldn't make myself sleep,
eventhough the headache strikes,
I couldn't remember the names of the interviewers,
HR and interviewers' faces in my mind were also blurred..
I only know one wore spects.

I logged on Youtube,
and happened to found a trailer of a popular anime form last Fall season,
Mahoutsukai no Yome (The Ancient Magus's Bride),
will there be a second season soon..?
the main protagonist looked taller and confident with a clear mind of goals
but I just couldn't remember her name...
I finally went to sleep about an hour later..
woke up from 9.30am alarm clock.

I had a dream..
of a girl closely attached to me,
but I just couldn't remember the face,
I felt we met before, classmate or a close friend...
There was a house party..? seeing a group of familiar faces
enjoying themselves with old buddies.
She was smiling and happy being around me..
eventhough I'm a hopeless..failure...
who is she...?

I just went for the interview the previous day,
and I received a phone call today...
I was prepared to accept the rejection,
but it came with a news of the confirmation offer and start day..
Frankly, I wasn't feeling joy or relief...or lucky...

After that reality talk with the interviewers
made me felt unsure of myself...
I was afraid I might slow them down..
I'm sure there's alot candidates applied for the job at the Jobstreet fair,
so what is the value they see me worthy enough to be given the job offer..?
a trial? an opportunity..? what are the jobscope..?