Such a scene only norm in action movies and dystopian world games that suddenly captured in real life and happened more often in a year, especially the whole incident captured before everyone still alive braces an inescapable situation, can really messes the heads of many regular air travelers, action movie-goers and also to gamers.
I just started the Phantom Liberty Expansion and recently play through the main quest with such similarities, now feeling quite disturbing (mixed feelings of alter world fusing with reality world), wished that they never happen.. wished that all landed safe..
Holiday is approaching, everyone in the world is reuniting with families and friends, and mom will be flying at the end of Jan 2025 for CNY family trip, has become a worry for both side and worsen mom's mentality more.
Mom always planned some PRE-preparation before leaving the house for trips. Even troubling me and brother twice in 2 weeks on some will letter to be signed. Because the lawyer from East made several proofread mistakes in the letters and miscommunication of meeting lawyer on our side, we siblings had to spare our time and leave to visit High Court on workday just to get lawyer appointment to sign and post-mail back to East.
It's been two months since I had phone call with mom. We used to had regular week calls. It was always the mother with favour that ended up with conversation dispute, mostly for topics of
"Next year's economy is going to be WORSE !"
"War is happening, xxx people died, no home to return and go hungry."
"Many car accident, don't ride friends' car, if you want to spot how your friend's personality, watch how they drive, they will show their true colours!"
"Typhoon rummage xx country, many house destroyed. Landslide somewhere, xxx people died, many missing, whole village gone."
"Have you watch this xx drama ? Many of your colleagues and friends must have watched. You should watch. Don't ignore."
"Don't eat out. Go homecooking. You can get fresh chicken from supermarket, so nearby and convenient. (Comes with an A to Z cooking instruction that ends ... don't know how long she explain)
"Don't come home for CNY"
"When you plan to come home? I can make plans for you to visit the dentist. Stay little longer, come back on weekdays, easier to reserve for dental appointment. Have you dental floss? Must dental floss, leftovers are always stuck between teeth"
"When you stay longer, I begin to miss you"
"How often do you come visit home, just let those electronics be. I'm used to its poor functionality, it will be fine, I will get uncle xx to fix it"
"How often you come home, just bear with it, you will be back is x days, no problem for me"
"Just in case you can't remember because you don't often come home, I will explain how to ON/OFF the water pipe, I can know the sound of the water tank filled"
"You have changed, not the child I known (negativity), "
"I'm your mother"
"you being single will never understand mom's unconditional love and why mother nag. Try yourself be a mother and see"
"DON"T compare my toleration to yours! I'm 30 years old ginger!"
"Don't eat carbonara outside, you don't know what cheap cheese outside put in the dish, probably the cheapest butter and cheese on shelf, because business have limit budget"
"Don't eat too much lady's finger outside, it's not good for body"
"Eat some lady's finger from time to time, it's nutritious and help this and that"
"I will finally be in peace after you find a soulmate"
"Don't befriend anyone who smoke and drink, especially gambling. These people will never have extra pocket in account"
"All men are evil"
"Be honesty with me, and tell me about myself"
"I hate liars"
"Just in case one day you children don't want me anymore"
IT IS EXTREME ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION, that is, listening for 30 years, and mom can hate me over a little conversation dispute just because I didn't think her reason being reasonable in one of the topics that are out of our control system. Imagining if I went amok killing people, will she hate me million times over that ?
I once did a homemade Mac N Cheese to surprise mom, but.. what came out of her mouth was an extreme let down experience that I never want to have again.
Me being honesty with her always landed in hot boiling pot. Me keeping silent, gets double the consequences. Me agreeing or not, still have to listen what she has to finish to say.
Me being a good listener, give support no matter what, think rational, and begin as positive can be table turned after a phone call.
Many things she hid before us children knowing, such as minor eye operation. She only revealed after she had done it. What else are we children gonna say ? There's no point in us to say we worry, because she never give the chance.
And the recent of will letter, she never tell us anything reason she's rushing us to get the letters done. None of us truly know what she's thinking. Part of me, knowing her for so long,
1st - I believe that she did it for CNY trip, just in case of her safety
2nd - the feeling of knowing her past orphan background and frequent moving, and the house property is everything she got.
3rd - the house will be for our future inheritance, a freedom home.
That she kept as trump card and never share, and always uses it in her conversation in power against us children. That's why brother and mom never click. In the end, we children carries the love and hate version of mom. We still do our best to love the hate version of mom.
I wonder how mom sees me. WHy I have to suffer, because I'm the devil's child? I'm the reflection of the devil ? Seeing me as seeing him?
No comments:
Post a Comment